Monday, June 13, 2005

An Intercepted IM Conversation Between Bush and Blair

I am a news junkie -- no not who's not eating herself to death or a possible beard for the most famous actor jumping on sofas. PUNK IS POLITICAL. But it's so damn depressing, so it's great to interject some humor so you don't go the way of Darby and end it all.

I love Arianna Huffington's blog, which posts all kinds of news that's hard to find cos it's true. She must be in the same mood, cos today is very Marxist . . . Groucho of course! The headline links to a site purporting "the prisoners of Gitmo never ate better" -- as if!! Arianna, you and your contributors rock!

Danielle Crittenden
HP EXCLUSIVE: An Intercepted IM Conversation Between Bush and Blair
Kickass43: hey!
Sxybritguy10: hey
Kickass43: sup?
Sxybritguy10: nm u
Kickass43: jc. Iraq not good
Kickass43: polls not good
Kickass43: mjr babe issues
Sxybritguy10: laura?????? :-O
Kickass43: rofl no! American chicks. Dont like me anymore.
Sxbritguy10: security mums?
Kickass43: gone
Sxybritguy10: ttly?
Kickass43: ttly. not like when we were young right? Mom AWOL=good party. Today: moms AWOL=bad for party.
Sxybritguy10: :(
Kickass43: they say they dont care about security issues. like NOW they feel safe. who made them feel safe? not Kerry. kerry is an uber douche. I’m way hotter than he is man.
Sxybritguy10: You were so the better candidate
Kickass43: yeah I know. they re-elect me then they ditch me
Sxybritguy10: sux
Kickass43: wat up wit u?
Sxybritguy10: k with chicks. rock stars help. :)
Kickass43: don’t have em. xcept gene simmons. chicks dont like him. got toby keith. he rocks with reel guys. and soldiers.
Sxybritguy10: touché. need sum of dat. guys think Im gay.
Kickass43: LOL. its ur accent…
Sxybritguy10: duh. everyone speaks like that over here. and in my campaign the press got a pic of me in my speedo.
Kickass43: that sux man, its like whoa. my campaign tends to b more negative. tho rite now I NEED people to think Im gay.
Sxybritguy10: guys think its poncy to care bout africa aids global warming. they dont like that sh**
Kickass43: poncy???
Sxybritguy10: gay
Kickass43: cool. as in poncy marriage? poncy rights? I like this. poncy poncy poncy!
Sxybritguy10: :rolls eyes: dont try it
Kickass43: y r u so good with ladies?
Sxybritguy10: they think i care
Kickass43: like i dont
Sxybritguy10: they think u dont care bout wat they care bout
Kickass43: like wat
Sxybritguy10: education healthcare sos
Kickass43: thats ttl sh**
Sxybritguy10: mayb but thats wat they think. u scare them
Kickass43: they like laura
Sxybritguy10: use her more
Kickass43: duh
Sxybritguy10: so how can i get guys 2 like me?
Kickass43: lose the accent
Sxybritguy10: seriously
Kickass43: hang with me at the prom
Sxybritguy10: u mean at gleneagle? the G8????
Kickass43: lets go shoot whatever u shoot there. foxes right? u guys r sick bastards. u cant even eat fox
Sxybritguy10: foxes r illegal now. its grouse
Kickass43: k. whatever. and make fun of the french guys. what ttl losers. They r so lame. They r like—wat wuz that word
Sxybritguy10: try poncy
Kickass43: they carry handbags. end of story.
Kickass43: so wanna chill at G8?
Sxybritguy10: er gotta hang with geldof.
Kickass43: ?
Sxybritguy10: rock star africa aids global warming sos
Kickass43: do girls like him?
Sxybritguy10: sort of
Kickass43: so lets hang 2gether bud!
Sxybritguy10: g2g
Kickass43: hey
Kickass43: hey
Kickass43: hey
Kickass43: u there???? hello? thats it. we’re nukeing you…
Kickass43: jk, ilu buddy. u do kno that right?
--with thanks to Mandy Frum, my in-house IM linguist :)


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